Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Short story; No use crying over a spilt milk

I used to be a happy and carefree girl. I laughed heartily when it came jokes. I was surrounded with friends and I was so delighted and exuberant.

Sometimes, some people were envious at me for being so friendly and happy. But I just didn't even care about them because I lived in my own life, in my own shoes. I was happy outside but the truth is, I was lonely.

I had no brother, no sister, nobody was with me when I needed them the most. Even Emma, my best friend since middle high school, choose Sarah over me. I felt devastated when I knew that Emma abandoned me.

I had nobody. That's for sure, no lie.

My own father was always busy, as busy as a bee, with his mighty job. He had to go overseas on calls, every month. He would came home to see me just for a couple days or a week. It will never be enough for me. I need my father, more than anyone else. We used to be so close but that's in past. For him, his job was more important more than anything else. That's the main priority for him. Then, my mother was also like that, she was a talented designer, fashion designer. She was busy with her hectic life. She also a makeup artists.

Since we lost our precious one, everything had changed. Our life wasn’t the same anymore. There’s no more joy, laughter and happiness. Everything had changed. Her named was Lynn, and she was my twin sister. We lost her due to car accident and we can’t do anything to save her. Since then, we move away to another place.

In a matter of seconds, my life turned upside down. I thought when we were moved to another place, I could forget the pain I used to handle all this time. But the truth is, I can’t. I can’t bring back Lynn into my life. I cried all night. I want her back.

If I can turn back time, I want to replaced her. I can’t live without my twin sister. She meant a lot to me. She understands me more than my parents. She knew how to soothe my feelings when I cried. She knew me more than I do.

Lynn. Why it has to be you?

Until one day, I learnt to move on and keep moving forward. My life goes on just like that, almost a year. Boring and uninteresting.

​Thus, that's why I used to pretend to be happy when I was with people. Sometimes I wanted to conceal my true feelings, but I don't want them to know my real life. If they knew, they might don’t care about it. I was being a hypocrite like a stupid girl but I loved to pretend that I was happy. That's so not me, for real.

Once, I used to hate my parents for leave me alone. I used to hate everyone. I had a trust issues because people come and go.

​Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes. The truth is, I missed them so much. So much. No words could ever define it. No words could ever describe it.

No matter what, they were meant a lot to me.

Sometimes, I felt that I didn't even exist at all in their life. I was like an invisible girl.

Nobody saw me.
Nobody noticed me.
I was sighing.

I need someone to lend their everything when everything was falling apart.

I don't how to feel anymore. I don't even know what's kind of feelings I have. It's hard. Everything in chaos. I hate that.

Well, today is my birthday after all. Yay? My parents weren't around like usual, I know. It fine by me. They were too busy, it can’t helped. They were so busy that I couldn't handle it anymore. I should be strong and independent from now on.

This is my life. It just me, myself and I.

It had been a long day without them and I wanted to tell them about how I felt when I met them again. I had to say what was in my heart. I had to be honest to what I felt. Be comfort by lie is more painful than be attack by truth.

​In the afternoon, I was going out as I needed to relax my mind from negative thoughts about myself. People kept waving at me, so did I. I smiled at them.

“Rin, have your parents home yet?” Asked Aunt Mimie.

“Not yet,” I smiled.

“I’m here for you. Anytime. You know about that right? So if you need me, just knock the door and I’ll be there for you.”

Aunt Mimie pats my head. She was cared a lot about me. She cared about us. Since we moved here, she’s the only one that always keep in touch with us. I love her, just like a mother of mine.

She walked by.

How I wished they knew about me, my real life. I said.

​“Hey Rin! You're alone, again? Where's Emma?” asked Nathan as he walked in front of me.

​“She's too busy to be disturb. How can you not know how your girlfriend is doing? How poor,” I laughed.

​Nathan poked me.

​Nathan. He was also my best friend since middle high school as we were in the same class. He also Emma's boyfriend, actually. He was a kind boy that used to care a lot about me. He was a pleasant and nice friend for me, listen to me whenever I need someone to talk. Lend a shoulder when I want to cry. He's a big brother to me, not more than that. I love him like a brother.

Lately, he always came to see me and I kept wondering why. I was astonished.

He said, “I was worried about you,”

Sometimes, I felt uncomfortable with his presence. It wasn't I dislike him, I just don't want any complications in my life. I had enough with my miserable and pathetic life.

“Do you have time?” He asked.

I nodded.

“I want to invite you to my house. My parents having a small party for my sister that will returned from Japan tonight. Will you be there?” He looked into my eyes deeply.

“I’m sorry, Nate. I just can’t,”

“Why? You didn’t have anything to do right? All you do is stay home alone. Doing nothing. Come on, Rin.” He begged on my knees.

I pulled his hands, helped he to stand up.

“I just can’t. I’m sorry,”

When I walked away, Nathan shouted out loud.

​“Well, happy birthday girl! Have a blast and be wiser, okay?” said Nathan, smiled.

​My face suddenly turn red, I was ashamed. I can’t believe it. He remembered my birthday. I said thank you and just left him behind. I didn't want any misunderstanding to occur between him.

So, I went back home. Even, I want to spend time more with someone, but no one was here for me. I just don’t want my life goes complicated.

Not Nathan.

When the sun rose, I was thinking what my parents doing. Didn't they miss me? Are they doing well there? Are they already eat? I grabbed my cellphone and called my mother. But there was no answer. Like usual. So did my father too.

They are too busy. I shouldn't disturbed.

I was dejected. Seriously. It's truly hurt.

My heart hurts. My chest hurts, my eyes swollen. It was really hurt. I missed those moments that they used to spend time with me, no matter what. I missed everything.

I need them right now. I was crying. I was shivering.

​“I miss you so much, Lynn. Why did you have to leave me so soon?”

I shed my tears-for-nothing.

“Be strong, Rin. I know you can face this,”

I could hear Lynn talking to me. I’m crying, I missed her so bad.

​I went downstairs and walked straight to the kitchen. There was a cake on the table. Just a piece of cake with a candle on it. I bought it at the Yuna’s bakery. I was sitting and holding a spoon. I just stared the cake while thinking about my fate.

So unlucky.

​“What a bad luck. It had been almost ten years since I celebrated my birthday alone. Hm hi Rin! Happy birthday to you and stay strong,” I cried all over again.

I held a frame photo which contained us, my family. My mom, dad, Lynn and me. The tears rolling so fast that I couldn't stop it anymore.

​All of a sudden, there was someone knocking the door harshly. The night was dark and mysterious. I was terrified being alone. It was almost midnight. I was scared yet ignored it.

“What's on the earth people come to my house in this late night?”

My father always remind me; ‘Always be cautious when someone knock the door especially in the night,’

​So, I finished my cake and went upstairs. I locked the door and closed the curtain.

I called Emma. I told her there was someone knocking at my door. She asked me to calm down. She felt lazy to talk to me like, are we know each other? Her voice said it. I could tell.

​“I'm sure it was nothing. Don’t worry,” she said.

​“Why are you like this, Em?”

“What’re you talking about, Rin?”

“I thought we are best friend, Em. You’d changed, a lot.”

“I don’t know,”

I didn’t say anything, I just hang up. I was tired of being treat like a jerk.

​I slept as I was very tired.

​The next day, Nathan came. He said that he wanted to accompany me as I was alone. I told him about the previous night and he laughed.

​“Did I scare you?”

I was liked “I’m going to make you pay for that,”

​He was the one who scared me. I scolded him but he just laughed heartily. I can’t believe that he would do that to me.

He was a pleasant person. I was admired him for being that happy whenever he got a million problems. His face, so sweet. Sometimes I don't understand what he was trying to do, what was on his mind. He was so unpredictable. I wished that I could read his mind. He brought me bouquet of chocolates as my birthday’s present. I was very thankful for having him in my life.

Emma saw us out of the blue, she was scolded us and cried. I wondering why.

"Emma? What's wrong?" I asked.

​"Is this what you called friend? Best friend? How could you betray me Rin! Stop making that innocent face! It's irritating. Argh I hate you!" She ran away. Nathan ran after her.

​I was shocked. It was like in movie. Totally. Everything seemed empty, yet in chaos.

Huh, what did I do? I didn't understand what was happening.

​Since that incident, they're no longer came to see me. But I was totally alright with that.
I lied. I missed them.

Everyday, I called her. But there’s no answer, only voice mail. I texted every hour, but there’s no reply from her. I missed her, seriously. So, I went to her house. I knocked the door, she opened the door. She doesn’t even looked at my face. I bet she probably hate me now.

“Come in,” she said.

I walked into her house and sat on the sofa. It was very comfy. Emma sat in front of me and she hugged herself. She doesn’t even looked at my face. I brought the smiled to her, but like usual, she doesn’t even care about that. She doesn’t smiled back.

I just smiled. I took away a gift that I brought from home. I bought it yesterday. I want to reconciled with her. I can’t stand fight with her. I loved her as much as I loved my late twin sister, Lynn.

“This is for you,” I gaved to her.

Emma didn’t take it so I just put it on the table. I tried to start a conversation so we won’t feel awkward.

“How’re you?”


I sighed. I tried again.

“How was your university? Everything’s okay?” I asked.


“How’s Sarah? Is she treat you right?”

“She treat me better than you. She don’t stabbed me at the back. She won’t laughed with my boyfriend. She won’t make me cry like you did, Rin.”

“Em, you knew it was just a misunderstanding.”

“I don’t know what will happen if Sarah didn’t tell me that you were with Nathan. You knew he’s my boyfriend. You ruined everything, Rin. I was break-up with him because of you.”

“She told you?”

“Just get out. Don’t you ever let me see your face. From today, we are not friend.”

Emma dragged me and pulled me away from her house. She shut the door. I knocked it, but Emma won’t opened it. I cried.

“Emma, please…”

As time passed, I walked home. I knew from the moments I walked away, we aren’t friend anymore.
Emma shut me out.

At night, Nathan called me. I knew he will knew what was happened today. I ignored it. I just want to be alone.

On Saturday, I got a called that my father would came back home. I was full of the joys to pick and meet him.

I called Emma, yet, she kept shouting at me. She blamed on me in everything. I just want to bring her with me because my parents always reminding me for not drive alone but...

​"Just go! Don’t you listen what I just said, you’re not my friend! Just go die!" Emma shouted.
I felt so harrowing.

“Emma. Are we still friend? Are we still good? Aren't we still gonna be good? Do you even miss me a bit? Cause I missed you so much. Come back. Don't leave me alone.”

“Are you deaf? We’re not friend,”

​“Emma, thanks for being my friend all this while. If I hurt you, I am so sorry. Can I ask you something?” I asked.

She didn’t said anything.

“If one day I will dissapear or die without saying goodbye, what will you do?” I said in soft tone.
“I don't care anymore about you! Just go die!”

Emma just hang up. She ignored me. I was giggled yet cried. I knew she lied.

I missed how cute she was. How broken she was. She such a cute crybaby. I missed the time when she won a singing competition and she looked me first. She hugged me tightly and said, “Thanks to you I won this. I love you,” that's the most honest words that I got from her since then. I missed her so badly.

Emma closed her locker. She walked through her class but Sarah blocked her way. Sarah looked at her with an annoying face.

“What’s wrong, Sarah?”

Sarah pushed Emma until she fell.

“Sarah, what’s wrong with you?”

“You know what, Emma. I’d enough already,”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m tired pretending to be your friend. You know why? Because I hate you and of course I hate Rin the most,”

“Why, Sarah” Emma cried.

“Why? Of course, I want to make you guys fighting. I want you to hate Rin and seems like I did it. Good luck with your Rin. Bye,”

Emma gush. Emma can’t stop crying. Finally, the truth had revailed.

​Without wasted my precious time, I walked to my car and drove to the airport alone, without a company. I put away my cellphone as it rang. Nathan’s named were on the screen.

My feelings was mixed. Everything was in chaos. I felt so devastated, I cried and cried. I can't stop thinking about her. I loved her but that was in past. She already had said to me that I am no longer her best friend. I cried and cried all over again.

I love everyone. I can't afford of losing them. I need them. I need them the most. Mama. Papa. Em. Nate. I need you guys the most. I can't stop this tears. I really need to stop being so crybaby.

Please Rin, stop it!

​In the blink of an eye, my car collided with a lorry. It all happened so sudden. It wasn't a coincidence, it wasn't. 

Is this my punishment? A punishment for me? For being stubborn?

Mama. Papa. Em. Nate. Where are you? Where were you when I need you the most?

I couldn't feel my both leg. I couldn't feel anything at first. Minutes later, it started to feel so painful. It's really painful. It's hurt. Truly hurt, like my heart was hurting and kept hurting.

“Help...” I couldn't shouted out loud.

​I saw people surrounding my car. They tried to help me out from the car. It was so hurt.
My leg! It's stucked!

I don't know what happened then. I was sent to the hospital as my condition was terrible and about to die. I had learnt from my stubbornness.

But it's too late now.

​Papa came. Mama came. Emma came. Nathan came.

Everybody was in the hospital to visit me. I felt grateful. I heard everybody's voice, they were crying. I was in comma for this one long month.

“She is dying. I am sorry. I can't help her anymore. We just leave this to God,” Doctor Edmund told my parents.

​“No! It can't be like this! Rin! Wake up! Don't just sleep, I need you!” Emma shouted her heart out. She shook my body.

I heard everybody crying. Argh! They still love me. They still care me about me. Now, I know.
Emma was the one who couldn't stop crying. She regretted it.

“Rin, I knew I was wrong. Sarah lied to me. She’s nothing. She’s a liar. You’re the only one that could understand me. Please, Rin. I need you to be strong. Stay alive! I love you, I swear to God that you’re the only best friend that I ever had.” Emma cried, again.

Emma, if I could tell you how much I love you. It’s okay now, Emma.

Mama too. I am so sorry for being such a disobedient girl. I am sorry for being so ungrateful, unfaithful, stubborn, stupid and idiot.
​“There is no use crying over a spilt milk,” Nathan said to Emma.

He held Emma's shoulder. Emma hugged Nathan as she need someone to lean on. She cried and cried. I heard her. She's still cute even she cried so ugly. Emma said sorry for being so cruel to me, treated me rudely.

It's okay Emma, I don't care. You're all I want. I smiled.

I felt a warm hug from her, mama and papa.

“How could you leave me so soon!” Mama grabbed my hand so tightly.

She kissed my cheeks and forehead again and again. It's so sweet. Mama, I love you.

If only you could hear what I want to said. My time had came. I let my last breath away and tetttt. My heart stopped beating.

“Rin!!” People shouted and cried.

Mama hugged me like she won't let me go.

“I’m sorry darling for leave you,” Mama said.

Papa? Did you had anything to say to me?

He just pretending to be strong. His eyes. So teary. He's so strong, I adored Papa so much.

I love you Papa. I love you Mama. I love you Emma. I love you Nathan.

Thanks for taking good care of me. I am going to leave them although it is not what I wish. People never have to care and worry about me anymore. They could just forget about me.

I’m sorry. I love you guys. Goodbye.

​I remember my papa and mama's advice to never drive alone but I did it anyway. I broke the rules. Now, I couldn't see them again, ever. I will miss them and wish that they will forget me, soon. No matter how much I regret my failure of listening to mama's advice. It is already too late. I realise that it is no use crying over spilt milk.

“It’s okay, darling. I let you go. Go and meet Lynn. She’s up there, waiting for you.” Said Papa.

Papa hugged Mama tightly. Nathan hugged Emma too. I smiled.

“Let’s go, Rin.” Lynn invited me.

“I love you guys,” I said. I wish that they could heard me.

I held her hand and we went to somewhere together.

 The end.

Friday, 3 October 2014

Hilang kau?

Have you ever feel losing your best friend?
Who had left a lot of memories with?

This year i "lost" a lot of friend that used to cry and laugh with,
But that’s okay now.

She’s my best friend,
Who used to always have a fight with,
Who used to stalk me when she's online,
Who used to cheer me up when I’m in tear,
Who used to give me a big smile,
Who used to mad at me when I tease her
Who used to share every inch of her problems with me.


I don’t think you still remember those memories,
Hahaha hambar lah, kawan.

Kau ingat tak lagi?
Kau suka buat aku tersenyum dengan perangai kau,
Kau suka buat lawak even hambar tapi aku gelak jugak lel,
Kau suka buat aku merajuk,
And if aku merajuk, kau mesti buat something,
Something supaya aku okay balik.

Kau tahu tak aku rindu semua tu?
Kenapa kau macam dah tak nak layan aku?

Eh no, not just me, but us. Why?
Aku selalu tertanya tanya weh.

Bila aku dengar mereka kata yang
Kau makin lama makin jauh dengan kami,
I was like "lantak kau" but actually hati aku menangis,
Sebab terlalu rindu kan kau.

Kau tahu tak aku rindu nak
Gaduh, merajuk, marah, cubit, tampar kau?

Aku tak tahu apa yang kau fikir,
Sometimes i just wish that I could read people’s mind,
I never doubt on you but you make me think like that.

Sekarang ni rasa macam tak ada rasa dah,
Kau nak menjauh ke nak abaikan aku ke,
Suka hati kau lantak kau.

Kalau kau rasa kami ni still kawan kau,
Kau akan cakap, but i don’t think so anymore.

Tahu tak aku rasa awkward sesangat bila nak cakap dgn kau
Sebab rasa macam I’m not belong to have a talk with,
Aku sudah tak banyak gurau dgn kau,
Tak banyak cakap dgn kau, 
Rasa macam aku jauh dgn kau sbb kau
Perasan tak?

I never mean to do so but you make me feel
Like i dont deserve to be your friend anymore.

Sekarang kau bukan dgn kami,
You’ve someone else.

Am I still your friend?
Because I miss rindu gelak tawa kau,
Can you just stay with me, us again?
Lepak dgn kami lagi?

Tahu tak bila aku tanya balik kau apa yg aku pernah cerita,
Kau tak ingatt weh haha nampak sgt macam kau tak kisah pun.

Tak apa lah, aku dah penat.

As long kau happy with people surround so do i,
And I’m sure you will be happy without us,

Aku sayang kau, aku rindu kau


Saturday, 27 September 2014

Complicated feelings

I'm not quite sure where to begin or where to start
All i really know is that this is from bottom of my heart.

This may sound confusing or actually I am the one,
Who confuse with my own feelings,
But i write this just for you guys who are really precious for me.

I wanto get out from this stress and find the real me,
I just lost myself and still don't know how to find me.

Why can't i be happier?
Yet i have thoughts that always haunt me 
And memories that don't go away.

I think of my life, and that my problems aren't so bad,
But for some unknown reason i still feel kind of sad.

It's tough being a girl eh no being a teen, 
Sometimes it's just a scare.

I wish i had some answers for this stupid thoughts. 
Life isn't always fair.

Sometimes i'm just really lost and don't know what to do,
I wonder where to go and who i can talk to.

No one really knows which thoughts i choose to share,
But even if i told them probably they wouldn't even care.
Sometimes i wanto say, "thanks for all that you've done,"
But the words fly from my head as quickly as they come.

I don't know how to talk to you, to tell you how i feel,
Now and then it's so complex. life sometimes is surreal.

You may not always see me when i stumble, trip and fall,
When tears are in my eyes and there's no one to call,
I was just let it go by myself and buried it down deep,
You may not hear me when i cry in bed at night,
Hoping that my worries will somehow be put right.

You may not always love me isn't it? when we just don't get along
I may screw up when i just won't admit that i was wrong
I'm sharing with you because i know that you really care
The friend you are to me is special, precious and rare.

Sometimes i might act joyful to camouflage my fears
But down deep inside, i wanto burst right into tears.
All i need sometimes when my heart just wants to break
Is your smile and a hug. that's what i can't fake.

I need you, my friend, to take my hand and try
To help me mend my broken heart and be there when i cry.
I want you to be w me and walk with me on this scare road :p
To step along beside me and help me with this heavy load.

I want you to feel free, i hope i don't ask too much
Just be there when i need you, and offer me your shoulders
Some people are ashamed to cry, but i am not afraid
For crying is the way that i let out all my pain
And i know tho that you were there for me.

A friend walks in when all others walk out.
You knocked on the door when i was full of doubt.
You are an angel. 

You’ve helped me do what's right,
When i had no eyes, you saved me,
You were my sight.

You helped me through, without you, where would i be?
A blessing and a treasure is what you are to me.

You are great person with good advice to lend,
I just want you to know that you are a wonderful friend.

You've let me be who i am and tell you how i feel
The best thing ever finding a friend just like you

Who listens and talks to me, you make my day tho.

Friday, 1 August 2014

5 minutes wasn't enough

Even though it hasn't even been 5 minutes since we said good bye,
I want to see you again so soon.
I want you to hold me tight, I miss you.
If the place where we returned to was the same,
I wouldn't mind being interrupted by the clock.

How happy would I be?
I just want to stay with you.
But whenever your name lights up from my cell.
You always let me know that I am never alone.
I treasure the time we aren't together so much.
You are there whenever I close my eyes.
I can become strong just because of that,
and if we're together than surely in the future as well.

No matter what happens we can overcome it.
We'll be connected by this unchanging love.
Because I'm always by your side.
I want to say to you, "I will always love you".
When you speak fondly of your friends,
I feel just a little bit of pain.

If you were to say "I'm coming to see you now".
How happy would I be?
I just want you to stay with me.
But I really can't voice out this selfishness of mine.
I don't want to be a bother.

I love your smile when you are trying your best.

It’s been a while. You haven’t changed a bit.
It’s good to see your smile again.
There are so many things I want to tell you.
Let’s talk all night, all day, always be like this.

The worries I’ve been holding onto.
Have flown off to somewhere, because being with my friends is so much fun.
If we never unlink hands and laugh together forever,
I can forget about all the tears and sadness.
I can be myself in front of you.
You always accept me as I am.
Thank you so much.

You look depressed, what’s wrong?
You can tell me if something is troubling you.
Try to lift your head even when you feel like crying.
Don’t worry. We’re all here for you.
We can overcome the uncertain future together.
Nothing’s scary if we’re together.

Bad things happen at times.
But good things are waiting for you after that.
It’s okay, no matter how far apart we are still connected.
Let’s stay together like this like forever, I hope so.

Sunday, 23 March 2014


Sebelum kau buat rules sendiri,
Kau cermin balik diri kau tu.

Even you're a girlfriend or boyfriend,
Kau still kena hormat pasangan kau,
Like kau tak boleh lah nak control dia 24/7,
Dia pun ada life bruh.

Takkan lah even keluar rumah nak sidai kain nak kena bagitahu kau?
Takkan lah nak keluar dengan kawan pun kena report dulu dekat kau?
Takkan lah nak kena report semuanya dekat kau kan?
Like you're not legally hers/his.

Kau fikir sikit,
Kalau time bercouple pun kau dah kena control dengan pasangan kau,
What do you expect then if you maary her/him?

Jangan terlalu pentingkan diri sampai kau lupa nak jaga hati pasangan kau. 
People got a feelings, everyone had one so respect them.

Sebab aku baca satu novel ni dan ada satu kisah benar yang pasangan yang sangat control every activities of their pasangan. Kalau aku pun rimas weh ada orang yang too controlling.

Choose wisely, people.

Pasangan hidup kau seumur hidup.
Do what makes you happy.

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Farewell ♡

Lepas ni dah tak ada syara, tak ada qilah, tak ada noraishah, tak ada nadia, tak ada nurin, tak ada fatin nazihah sebab diaorang akan pindah ke sekolah lain. So excited for them but at the same time, I'll miss them dearly. Even baru sebulan tak jumpa syara dan nadia, I felt like macam dah berdekad tak jumpa diaorang hahaha. Noraishah, aqilah and fatin pindah tak sampai sebulan pun, tapi rindu tu dah menggunung. I miss you guys so much.

Even kita baru saja rapat tahun lepas tapi bila dah berpisah tu kan, terasa sangat pemergiaan syara. Syara yang selalu teman kita time balik. Bila waktu balik je mesti teringatkan syara. mestilah teringatkan syara sebab syara yang selalu temankan kita. Kita rindu nak syara ajar kita matematik sampai kita betul-betul faham. Kalau kita tak faham matematik, kita mesti cari syara. But now, bila kita tak faham matematik kita cari hanum. Kadang, kita cuba je buat sampai dapat. Kalau tak dapat ha, cari lah hanum, aida, ama, echah ke tapi kita tetap rindu nak syara ajar kita. Kita rindu waktu hari jumaat, waktu balik je mesti lepak dulu kat kantin. Sebab syara kan balik lambat, so kita temankan lah lagipun last year kan kita on duty boleh lah temankan. Rindu sangat sangat tahu huhu. Nak dengar syara berleter, bercerita ha rindu segalanya!:'( Thank you for being such a wonderful friend of mine, syara.

Rindu qila. Rindu nak cubit qila. Rindu nak kacau qila. Rindu nak puji qila comel. Rindu nak puji nama qila yang comel. Hm rindu nak tanya arab kat qila. Rindu nak qila story mory dengan kita. Rindu nak qila paksa kita bergambar dengan qila. Rindu sangat sangat. Waktu qila nak pindah tu, kita rasa macam tak nak bagi je qila pergi. Kita tak nak kehilangan qila. Tapi jika itu yang terbaik, I'll pray for you so you can fit it in your new school. Hee. I'll always support you. Even kita kenal baru setahun, kita takkan pernah lupakan qila. All you have done to me, I'll always remember that. Thank you so much for your kindness and clinginess. Thank you for being such a amazing friend of mine, aqilah.

Norai yang comel lagi bambam hehe. Sangat suka ye berkawan dengan norai. Orangnya baik dan humble. Even norai satu sekolah dengan sekolah ibu kita, nak jumpa norai pun payah kalau kita pergi sekolah ibu haha. Awak ajar kita banyak benda. I'll never forget your kindness. Norai adalah orang dalam kelas yang lahir lagi awal and you're going to be my kak long forever. Norai selalu bagi kita semangat dalam belajar. You are the best kak long I ever had. Sayang noraishah sangat sangat! Thank you for being such a glorious friend of mine, noraishah.

The famous popular cutest girl in the class. Selalu kena kacau haha sebab comel sangat! Rindu nak kacau nad rindu nak dengar suara nad. Nadia adalah adik kami in the class. The most amazing person I ever had in my high school life. The smartest person in class. Always care for each other. Thank you for being such a marvellous friend, nadia.

Yin yin yin
Baa baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir
Three bags full

One for sabrina gogo
One for zahidah
And one for me
Who lives down the road
HAHAHA  rindu nak dengar nurin nyanyi lagu lirik yang nurin ubah ni. Rindu nak tengok gwiyomi nurin. The most masuk air friend I had last year. The dimple person. Even kenal setahun je baru, tapi dia punya gila-gila tu allahu I don't know how to describe. Masa nurin masuk last year kan, kita tak berani pun nak tegur. Anak ustazah pulak tu. Masuk pun dah pertengahan tahun. The most memorable is, asyik gaduh je dengan nurin. Even gaduh gaduh main main je. Tapi ada satu time kita merajuk, hahaha nurin pujuk je. Then dah okay. Mana boleh merajuk lama-lama dengan nurin gogo ni hahaha. I don't know why dia gelar aku sabrina gogo. Funny and cute bila ingat balik. Rindu sangat dekat nurin. Jauh nya nya nurin pindah dekat kedah tu. Bila lah dapat jumpa eh. Ada rezeki kita jumpa ye. Foto sama-sama pun tak ada huhuhu. Thank you for being such a magnificent friend, nurin gogo.

Fatin nazihah,
We have two fatin in class and you are one of it. She looks very matured ye. Suka berkawan dengan fatin. Even matured, tapi sangat friendly. Baik hati pulak tu. Always tolong kita bila perlukan bantuan. She's brilliant. Those 2 years really made my years with you in it. Goodluck dekat vokay sana, do your best okie cause I also gonna do my best here. Thank you for being such a delightful friend, fatin.

You guys will always in my prayer. I will always pray for your happiness and succesful. Goodluck for spm and everything wherever school you are. Sorry sebab kita tak ada apa nak bagi for our farewell.

For my ex-classmate 2, 3 Amanah and 4 KAA, terima kasih sebab hadir dalam hidup kita. Thanks sebab banyak bantu kita dalam pelajaran, banyak ajar kita. My thoughts of having bad school memories was swept away by you guys. All the memories that we created together, insyaAllah I will always remember until my final breathe.

Teruntuk syara, nadia, fatin, nurin. Maaf sebab tak ada apa nak bagi because you guys pindah unexpectedly. Norai, qilah. Entah lah apa yang diberi tu tapi limited edition okie hahaha. 

And thanks norai sebab bagi notebook yang comel. Kita tak bukak pun sampul nya sebab kita sayang sangat nak buang. So kita simpan je (for the time being :p) Thanks jugak amirun sebab bagi notebook. I appreciate every little things you guys gave me for all these years.

Thanks for being such a fantabulous and incredible classmates since the first time aku jejak di sekolah SAAS ni. You guys made a great friends of mine. Thank you so much!

Form 2 punya. Form 3 takde sebab aku tak datang
time photoshoot haha. So nurin dengan aqilah
tak ada dalam gambar.

Till we meet again!

- Sabrina Sahira ♡ 

Monday, 27 January 2014

Farewell words

I can't even describe how much I need you,
I want to tell you all those feelings.

Friendship that we have is so rare to find,
We hate to see each other in a bind.

I could skip a heartbeat, and I would survive,
I could be in a car crash, and still be alive.
The clouds could fall out of the sky,
The oceans could disappear, and all turn dry.

Life would not be the same without someone like you,
You're there when I need you to help me through,
The good times and bad.

I don't have to be with you, to know you're there,
We don't have to see each other, to know that we care.
We could be apart for years upon end,
And still remain the best of friends.

Life goes on, and people change,
Through it all, our friendship shall remain the same.

That's such as a life, and how things come to be.
Just thought you should know,

How much you mean a world to me.

We told our darkest secrets, with feeling no shame,
We will tell each other the truth even if we are to blame.
Thinking of you not being here makes me feel so sad,
We will have to look back on our crazy memories to make us glad.

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

When tears fell from my eyes,
You were there to brush them away.

When I was lost in confusion,
You were there to say that everything would be okay.

When I stood before you falling apart,
You were there to lend your heart.

When I felt like no one could understand,
You were there to take my hand.

When no one else was left to care,
You were there.

But now?
I want you to know that I need you most of the time,
Always there to hear my confession.

I want you to know that you mean so much to me,
I need your superb advise,
I need you to always support me when I'm start to falling down,

I need you badly.

But you are not here anymore.

When I need you, you are not here
You are not the same, you've changed.

I know but it's terrible to have a new you,
You are not the one who always care about me,
Ask me whether I'm okay or not,
When I say I'm okay, you just say okay.

The truth is I'm not,
I can't stand on this anymore,
And I'm pretty sure that you don't need me.

You look so fine without me

Sorry for a million time.

I'm sorry for not good enough to understand you,
Sorry for can't be a good friend for you.

I want you to know badly,
That you are my best friend and it's hard to find a friend like you.

People's changed.
So you are.

Farewell, friend.

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Salam Maulidurrasul

14 Januari 2013 -Selasa-

A great day.

May the good deeds & the teaching of our beloved Prophet guide us in every step of our life.
We once had a teacher the teacher of all teachers he changed the world for the better
And made us better creatures.
Right he is the best of men to walk in this earth.
Raise his Life and reads his Sirah.

Before you we're born, he cried for you, how could you not love this man.
May Allah never let us turn away from the mercy to the worlds in this life,
so that He does not turn from us in the next.

Rasulullah dalam mengenangmu.
Kamu susuli lembaran sirah mu.
Pahit getir perjuanganmu.
Membawa cahaya kebenaran.

Engkau taburkan pengorbananmu.
Untuk umatmu yg tercinta.
Biar terpaksa tempuh derita.
Cekalnya hatimu menempuh ranjaunya.

Tak terjangkau tinggi pekertimu.
Tidak tergambar indahnya akhlakmu.
Tidak terbalas segala jasamu.
Sesungguhnya engkau rasul mulia.

Tabahnya hatimu menempuh dugaan.
Mengajar erti kesabaran.
Menjulang panji kemenangan.
Terukir namamu di dlm Al-Quran.

Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kutatap wajahmu
Kan pasti mengalir air mataku
Kerna pancaran ketenanganmu

Alangkah indahnya hidup ini
Andai dapat kukucup tanganmu
Moga mengalir keberkatan dalam diriku
Untuk mengikut jejak langkahmu

Ya Rasulullah, terimalah kami sebagai umatMu.

Perbanyakkanlah berzikir.
Ringankan lidah untuk berzikir.
Dapat jugak pahala kan?
Tak susah kan nak berzikir?

Ya Allah,
Rindu nya Rasulullah.
Andainya Rasulullah masih ada.
Mesti sedih kan tengok umatNya yang makin lagha dgn dunia.

Allahumma solli 'ala saiyyidina Muhammad wa'ala alihi wasahbihi wasalam.
Shalallahu 'alaa Muhammad Shalallahu 'alaaihi wassalam.

Salam Maulidurrasul

Muhammad bin ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abdul Muttalib bin Hashim
[Subuh Isnin, 12 Rabiulawal / 20 April 571M]

Marilah kita menjadi umat Nabi Muhammad yang berilmu agama, berakal dan bertauladan. Berubahlah ke arah kebaikan. InsyaAllah.