Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Chapter of a new life;

Hi, guys. I'm totally clueless what should I talk about today. The main reason why I've created this blog because this one was to express feelings and thoughts. To be honest, circle of limited characters on twitter ain't enough and I get tired of writing sometimes, so here I am, typing on a blog.

I'm here to share my thoughts and emotions. So let me say out loud. Read.

Not for anyone else, but for yourself.
Show yourself your own smile. You'll feel better then.

I wrote this just to make myself feel better and know that life is worth living. Thanks to those who are giving me a light for me to keep stay alive and wake up from this dream. Now, I can be stronger than I used to before.

Life is sometimes can be so painful, yes. That's the rotation of life. Sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are sad. You know, isn't it said that life has its ups and downs? It's fun because downs come after ups, but if life was full of downs, wouldn't it get boring?

If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you place. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you'll never get another one quite like it.

And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart, where your hope lives. You'll find your way again. It doesn't matter what the world thinks, nor what your parents think. If you don't like yourself even if the world loves you then you need to become a person whom you like.

What's wrong with falling down? You can always stand up again. If you look up at the sky after falling down, the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me. I'm alive.

No matter how severe the situation is, if you continue to stay there, you'll accept everything as a everyday life. Look at you. You're young and you're scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think.

Wear what you want.
Say what you want.
Listen to the music you want to listen.
Play it loud and dance with it.

Live now.
Do it now.
Take a risk.
Tell secrets.

This life is yours.

When do you gonna realize that you can do whatever you want? I know that there are sometimes, live won't always be as you want/wish. In term to be happy, you should change it. They way you live in.

You know, you are pretty just the way you are, dear my readers.
Just be who you are.

Don't let hatred take over your mind.
Work silently and the victory will noisy by itself.

Always love yourself. No matter how hard your life is. Live you life. Appreciate it. Make it worthwhile. Be yourself. Don't let anyone hurt you. Not anymore.

I love you too,
Remember ❤

Nah, a present for my dear readers πŸ’— I'm sorry because my handwriting was awful.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

Graduation (Stpm16/17)

Graduation finally comes to the end. Our journey is still long eventhough graduation makes it felt like it's already over. Nope, graduation is just meant to celebrate us from a long way to success in our life.

Form six's life was so splendid great! We made a thousand memories so we can keep and tell the future how we were felt back then. Even I'm that lonely-shy girl, but with you guys, nothing felt better than this. Thanks for making my one year and a half sucha great year. I can tell how incredible you guys are. Without you, Al-Qaradhawi's squads and all our teachers, ustaz, ustazah and ayahanda, nothing felt great spent our years studied at SMKA Maahad Hamidiah, Kajang. There are always have that ups and downs, no doubt. But with teamworks and trust each other, we solved everything together. I can't never be thankful enough for meeting you guys.

Way more to go, Al-Qaradhawians! Bittaufiq wannajah fi mustaqbalik! Remember what happens in your life and whatever your decision is, Allah comes first.

saas's gegirls who made it this far to graduate form six together!

mai, qilah and me.

me and syera!

me and fana!

my muet's gegirls!

6 Ibnu Khaldun's squad!

Thanks for the memories! I'll surely gonna treasure it! :)

Thursday, 5 October 2017

Trust is like glass

"Why wouldn't you trust me? You told me that you gave me second chance and we can be bestfriend like we used to be before"

"Life is hideous sometimes. It is too easy for a person to forgive each other but to trust that person again is beyond my ability because trustworthy ain't for play dude. We can still be friend, but doesn't mean I trust you like I did before. Once you break my trustworthy, I'll never let you let myself down anymore. I might be someone, you swear you don't want to know. Mark my words."

I've learned that trust is like glass, it will cracked.
Once broken, no matter how you put it back together, 
You can still see the cracks

Life don't always goes like you please. 
People don't always act like they are. 
Sometimes, you felt like you know someone doesn't mean you really know that person. 
People sometimes are complicated, hypocrite and fake. 

You can't trust people so easily because 
It will end up you are the one who will be the heart broken.

Life is worth living. 
Don't let yourself ruined by someone. 
You deserve something more great. 
You reap what you sow.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Raya haji di Phnom Penh

It was 31/8-3/9 supposedly but ada masalah so we gotta proceed to 4/9. 

31/8/2017 (Thursday)

Yeah we're going oversea, termasuk kakak, abang ipar, dina aaira dengan nenek sekali ke Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Naik flight malindo air. First, malindo air ni memang dah problem. Last minute tiba-tiba dia cakap ada problem tak boleh proceed kami pergi kemboja ni so beberapa hari sebelum 31hb tu dalam 2 hari lepastu baru nak dapat tiket balik. Flight ni tak terus ke Phnom Penh, dia akan ada transit dekat Bangkok dulu. Masalah lah kat situ. So macam serabut lah kelam kabut semua. Jadi, kami pergi lah Klia, duk sana and check in baggage semua tu lah and then pekerja kat situ kata tak boleh nak check in bangkok sekali sebab ada masalah dengan malindo air. Selalunya kalau nak transit akan ada tiket lagi, so ada dua tiket tapi sekarang ada satu tiket je. Then gerak naik flight sampai dekat Bangkok, masalah pulak dah. Dia suruh amek baggages kat bawah pastu check in semula. Tu dah satu hal. Time tu dah pukul 1230 lebih mcmtu and nak kena check in semula lah. Boarding pukul 245 macamtu. Satu kerjaan pulak. Nak kena lepas kastam lagi dia punya cop-2 tu lagi. Memang lama sangat. Dengan dina dah mengamuk, yelah dia lapar pastu tak reti duk diam. Argue dengan pekerja situ lagi dengan tak berapa nak faham english. Habis je lepas cop-2 tu, kami amek baggages and then kena scan baggages pulak pastu dia lengahkan masa suruh bukak kotak yang nenek aku bawak. Pastu dah bukak satu hal, then cakap "ni baju baru semua, nak jual ke?" Then kami kata lah "ni semua nak sumbang di phnom penh" banyak pulak dia tanya. Pastu habis terus berkejar nak check in barang. Dah pukul berapa time tu, tak sempat nak menyinggah kejap pastu nak check in ada masalah. Dah check in tu dah pukul berapa dah. Nak boarding dah pun. Lepastu habis semua, cecepat kami berkejar pergi gate and luckily tak final call lagi so ada yang pergi tandas semua lah. Makan tak sempat dah. Naik flight, sampai lah Phnom Penh. Memang panas lagi daripada Malaysia hahaha tak pernah hujan sejak 6 bulan lepas. Pastu naik bas agency kami then pergi lah makan. Allahu, sedap ya allah memang nikmat. Time tu puasa kan, puasa arafah. Pastu makan bertambah tambah lah. Dah habis makan, check in hotel. Nama hotel dia Cardamom Hotel cemtu kot. Best jugak hotel dia. Seronok. Eh lupa malam tu, ayah dengan anak anak lelaki pergi cari durian so yeah makan dekat lobi. Tak boleh lah nak makan dekat bilik kan. Penat sangat pastu tidur dah. Tunggu esok lak nak raya haji.

1/9/2017 (Jumaat)

Raya yay! Hahaha. Semua siap-siap pakai jubah raya haritu, breakfast and then masuk bas nak pergi sembahyang raya dulu. Macam masjid negara depa lah. Lebih kurang macamtu. And then sudah solat, kami pergi lah kampung dia. Lebih kurang tiga jam jugak. Sampai je ya allah panas sangat XD then kena seberang sungai nak pergi kampung tu so yeah naik sampan! Seronok hahahaha bergoyang goyang. Kampung tu sebelah dia sungai mekong❤ beraya sana lebih kurang macam lawatan amal ke Phnom Penh. Then buat korban, 7 ekor lembu. Sekali dengan orang mintak korbankan sekali. Kan orang korban kena tengok darah pertama yang mengalir kan. So yeah aku kena tengok lah. Tak boleh ada apa-2 perasaan kesian ke apa so aku sado sangat time tu yay. Bayangkan, dina pun tengok tau! Diam je dia. Habis je korban beberapa ekor lembu tu, kami pergi duduk. Depa tengah masak and then dah sudah masak, kami pun melahap πŸ˜‹ sedap jugak hehe tapi cembiaso. Liat. Dah habis makan, yang lelaki pergi solat jumaat and gegirls duduk jelah situ. Kakcik melayan budak-2 kemboja tu, tak faham pun depa cakap apa. Hahaha tapi seronok depa main dengan aira dina masa tu. Kakcik melayan sambil pakaikan inai dekat depa. Habis saja, sebab dah lewat, kami balik. Baju-2 yang kami kumpul tu dah selamat di rumah ketua kampung. Byebye. Haha. Then balik. Singgah kejap beli air kepala. Fuh fresh! Sedap sangat! And tetiba hujan rintik-2. Allahu. Ini kali pertama hujan setelah 6 bulan tak hujan kata depa. Kuasa Allah kan. Then sampai tu pergi aeon, jenjalan jap. Mahal lah daripada Malaysia sebab dia pakai wang dollar. Beli makanan ringan jelah. Oh fyi, tandas dia takde paip πŸ€— so cembiaso ye, hahaha. Masuk je bas pastu haikal tetiba kata iphone ibu hilang. Kelam kabut semua. Then pergi makan, bincang-2 dulu. Ayah aku bincang dengan tour guide. Habis makan, masuk bas tetiba dhiah kata "phone siapa tu yg sebelah ina tu?" dekat celah-celah kerusi aku. Then cecepat dhiah amek. Phone ibu πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ“± nasib ada eagle eyes dhiah, kalau tak dah pergi patah balik aduh adik aku sorang ni 😌 then bersyukur waktu tu. Gegelak sesamaπŸ˜‚ balik hotel yay. 

We're having breakfast

Otw nak pergi masjid

Okay, then kami gerak ke kampung.

Then balik, cari air kelapa.

Pastu kami makan durian kat sini and kedai ni dalam tu ada
burung hantu yang mengiau hahahaha cute sungguh

Abah dia pun join sekali xD
So malam rasa nak makan, jadi kami makan ini.

Ok let me continue the story eh ^^b

2/9/2017 (Saturday)

We're going jalan-jalan surround like getting into central market. Yeah, nothing that we can buy, but suasana dia mostly lain sikit daripada suasana dekat pasar malaysia. Pastu pergi mana macam tempat bersejarah di mana sekolah dijadikan penjara untuk menyeksa rakyat kampuchea time tu.

Khmer Rouge, pernah dengar tak? Memang kejam sangat time tu, it's more like kes Rohingya sekarang ni. Nak cerita sejarah dia lama pulak tapi aku tengok lah bilik-2 dia kurung menteri-2, memang ramai. Bayangkan satu tahun, dia bunuh 1 juta orang. Tak ada belas kasihan langsung. Dalam 3 tahun, 3juta orang mati means semua rakyat kampuchea time tu kena bunuh. Ketua dia orang kampuchea sendiri, pol pot tak silap nama dia. Tak boleh ambil gambar sepanjang lawatan tempat-2 macam tu so tak ada banyak gambar. Kejam! Melampau sangat. Atas pol pot tu  ada lagi orang atasan dia and we didn't know who the hell is that. Kejam. Hanya 7 orang je dari rakyat kampuchea tu dapat survive. Camne eh cite dia hm. Dia mcm first-2 memang rakyat kampuchea tu dah kena seksa dah lepastu datang lah dari mana tah orang kononnya macam first-2 tu, depa gembira sebab orang tu mcm nak selamatkan depa, betapa nak menangis bila tengok gambar budak-budak nampak happy sangat time depa datang tu when in the end, depa yang kena seksa. Depa kena bunuh. Kejam. Setiap seksaan, setiap kali depa kena bunuh, orang jahat tu akan amek gambar. Sedih 😭

Then habis melawat, lama jugak sampai lah pukul 11, kami pergi makan. Habis makan, berehat dulu dekat hotel and pukul 3 nanti gerak jalan-jalan semula. Pukul 3 petang, kami gerak turun masuk bas. Memula kami akan ke dataran merdeka kat situ, dataran merdeka malaysia pun jarang jejak haha πŸ˜‚ jalan-jalan kejap situ pastu tetiba hujan rintik-2 then pergi istana amek gambar depan istana je sebab kami nak pergi naik bot jalan-jalan dekat sungai mekong hihihi. Kami naik ferry tu kami sekeluarga je sekali dengan tour guide. Rasa bebas nak buat apa je hehehe. Seronok dan cantik sangat sebab dapat tengok seluruh kawasan dan ada double rainbow! Lepas habis, pergi makan lagi hehehe tapi serius sedap. Makanan muslim biasa je sebenarnya tapi rasanya sedap lain macam mashaAllah. Balik tu sampai hotel, siapa nak ikut gi kedai runcit boleh pergi so kita pergi lah. Saje menengok. Dah sudah, balik dan tidur. Hee


Dataran Negara.

Perangai sungguh lah anak buah sorang ni XD

Double rainbow!
3/9/2017 (Sunday)

Sepatutnya kami balik hari ini means 3/9 tu tapi masalah malindo air dia mesej kata anjakkan kpd 4/9 macam lawak lah kan orang nak balik sebab penat and then 5/9 tu nak sekolah pulak. Dia dah lah bagitahu last minute. So harini kami tak pergi memana pun, 8lebih tu terus pergi airport sebab malindo air kata pergi airport dulu and then dia akan hantar orang untuk handle semua tu. But guess what? Salah faham semua tu. Kami kena call orang malindo air tu untuk settlekan semua. Bayangkan, dekat airport tu tak ada kedai makan halal and we're stucked here sampai pukul 5 petang. Itu pun sebab ada orang datang tanya kenapa apa masalah semua tu. So telefon lah kedutaan apa semua tu and pukul 7 baru sampai hotel. Semua ada. Baby, orang tua semua penat dengan laparnya lagi. Sumpah memang lapar sebab pagi tu makan apa je and then aku pulak takde selera nak breakfast, makan sikit je and tak makan seharian. Pedih perut habis. Memang dah merayau satu airport bahagian bawah lah. Ingatkan boleh balik haritu jugak but nah, tak boleh. Dina pun dah bosan and banyak kali kata lapar and dia punyalah bosan and jumpa kawan mat salleh 20-an lah. Layankan aje perangai si dina tu. Comel sangat hahaha. Then, semua dah settle itu pun atas bantuan orang malaysia. Sebab call malindo first-2 dia cakap tak boleh nak settle kan lagi, orang yang handle semua tu shift masuk pukul 1 and then dah call kata sila call pukul 3 pulak dah. Lama sangat tunggu and takde respon pape pun. Bayangkan berapa ratus dah habis nak buat panggilan ke malaysia dalam rm400+ habis hanya untul call malindo air tu. So kami bermalam di Gmekong Hotel and makan di situ. Alhamdulillah cantik hotel dia dan selesa sangat.

Pastu ramai-ramai pergi mandi dekat swimming pool sebelum tutup.

Makan malam aku.

Pastu hari nak balik pun problem 😭

Hari terakhir 4/9/2017 (Monday)

Terus gerak pergi airport then nak check in. Lepastu pekerja tu kata dia tak tahu pape pun pasal tu sampai orang kedutaan tu datang and macam tak buat kerja pun. Flight nak balik nanti dari bangkok-kl pun tak tahu pukul berapa and macam mana. Dah sampai bangkok, masalah lagi. Tak leh nak check in awal and tetiba kata flight pukul 5 WOW MASATU BARU PUKUL 10 kot ke 9 memang haih lapar kutttt. Tak faham betul. Lepastu ada jugak mangsa lain macam kami and dia cina and dia argue mati-matian dengan orang yang nak check in tu. Pastu boleh check in tapi menengung lah sampai pukul 5. Lepastu dia bagi kami duduk kat lounge pastu tetiba orang yang nak bawak kami ke lounge tu takde. 15 minit jugak nak tunggu dia datang balik and yeah kami berehat dekat lounge. Miracle lounge. First time. Nikmat. Dapat duduk lounge orang kaya 😭😭😭 Kami makan yang nampak macam boleh makan je, kalau yang syubhah tolak tepi. Takut tak halal.

Aku degil nak try makan wasabi dia banyak sekali berasap
terus buang balik. Rasa dia tak sama macam malaysia punya.

Pastu sampai rumah alhamdulillah. Dalam pukul 12 malam.